Dreams

I started keeping a dream journal about a year ago.  I know... should have done it a long time ago... but I'm not much of a writer... and besides... there were a few years there where I woke up so often in the night with my kids that I don't think I ever got to dream.  Anyway... I had a very interesting dream lately and it set off a fire storm of new things.  I guess I knew it was coming after that amazing vision during acupuncture that I shared last time.

I went back to my dream journal and found that over the last year I'd had a bunch of dreams about my inner Wild Woman.  She was always captive and I never knew what to do with her.  I guess the other value of a dream journal lies in actually going back and reading it occasionally.  Then I had my vision at acupuncture and I felt like everything changed.  According to my dream journal... it did.

I started dreaming of symbols of newness... eggs, chickens, new projects, new houses.  and such.  Then... I had an inspiration with respect to my work and my partner and I are off and running with it.  Last night, I dreamed that I moved to a new town, near a big beautiful lake, and I rode a skateboard and wore little 70's-ish tinted glasses.  That had to be my Wild Woman... finding her new home.  Moon Daughter on the path...

Ahhh... home...

Preparations of Spring

Spring... the time of the East... where things begin, form, get set up, and ready to take shape in the summer... the time of the South.  This last month, the transition from winter to spring has been intense for me.  It's as if I spent the winter in hibernation... holding still... waiting... and then... with the tiniest hint of spring in the air everything went wild!  Seriously... everything...

Photo by Phil McGrew in lots of local newspapers from April 12, 2012

The weather here was crazy a few weeks ago.  In coastal California we don't get much thunder and lightning... but one night there was a storm that went on for hours.  I've lived most of my life here... and never seen anything like it.  I heard lots of others say the same thing.

In parallel with the intense weather, it seemed to me that relationships got pretty intense too.  Struggles between and with my family members took on their own drama... which, pushed all of my old buttons... things I've been working on for years.  It brought back some of my old self-talk which was not nice... and for a few days last week I felt like I was going a little loco.  I didn't feel like myself.

And then I started having dreams.  Some were a bit daydreamy when I'd let my mind wander... some were visions during acupuncture... some were dreams at night.  In the end it came down to a massive clearing and shifting of energy for me. 

I met the Bone Woman.

In a daydream during acupuncture she stripped away everything but my bones and skin.  She took me down to my essential nature and cleaned my bones.  Such a strange feeling to be made of only bones and skin.  Then... she filled out from her skeletal form and began to sing.  And as she did she wove plants around me... all manner of plants... around my legs, my body... with extra around the belly and breasts because I am a mother... and up around my head.

This picture of a goddess candle holder is the closest image I can find for being built up by the Bone Woman

Then, she placed a red, heart-shaped rock at my heart.  It was vibrant, strong, and beautiful.  I felt complete again, if a little raw and edgy with my new being.  I'm still getting used to the new deal, it's still easy to cry over things... sometimes not even knowing why, exactly.  I think it's just part of the transition... becoming aware of new reference points... and trusting it to settle in.


I'm still processing... but feeling much more energetic again.  I got sick a few weeks ago... and it's taken a long time to kick the cold/flu... it processed through as did the rest of this stuff.  So the whole upheaval felt like it was not only my whole being (emotion, spirit, physical) and family level AND the environment.  Did you feel it too?

Dreaming

Anyone else having a lot of dreams since the solstice? I've been dreaming all kinds of stuff, some new, some old recurring dreams. All seem to have messages in them... about who I am, what my personal characteristics are, and situations that play out in integrity. It's been amazing to watch this unconscious life evolve lately... I hadn't dreamed reliably in years... well, since the kids were born. Honestly, I didn't get much sleep for the first few years the each of my kids were here... which really calculates out to almost 5 years without all-night bouts of sleep. I've been kinda worn out.

But, back to the topic of dreaming. Last night I had a dream that is, in its basic form, a recurring dream, although the details of the dream often change. It's a dream where I'm in an airport... trying to catch a flight. The planes are often different... and the origination and destination are often different... or sometimes I don't even know that part... but it's the classic dream of angst about being on time or finding my way around. Some people dream about school this way, or work, or they've transformed it into their very own story. Anyway, last night my dream ended with me missing my flight... which is very odd... I almost always end up getting there, and somehow I knew this dream was a culmination of a few events... stick with me for a second while I tie some seemingly unrelated things together.

I woke up, with some kind of odd knowing... that something that I had been holding on to, something that was no longer serving me, had been released. I do a lot of work with the Chinese meridian system, and the clarity was in the Gall Bladder/Liver pair of meridians. These are the "wood" meridians... which are associated with creativity, the ability to see (both physically and intuitively), and the emotion of anger (commonly held in the liver meridian).

Now, rewind to the day before the dream: I've been reading a book called Plant Spirit Healing by Pam Montgomery... and I had JUST read this passage about the Wood Element in Chinese medicine. I had identified strongly with the Wood Element in this framework, and felt that the imbalances in that element had been strong in my life. They were the issues that led me to growth, and to identifying with who I really am. In summarizing the Wood Element Pam Montgomery says that the key to the element is to be flexible and to "go with the flow". Damn... now that phrase "go with the flow" has come up for me over several years, in many places, and out of the mouths of many people. I wonder if that will shift for me now.

Reading this Plant Spirit Healing Book had me thinking about plants I feel connected to. I decided (yesterday) that I was going to try to form stronger relationships with some of the plants in my yard... some I've planted, some are relentless "weeds", and then there are some plants that just don't seem like they are willing to grow here, no matter what I do. But, I digress. Yesterday I laid down under my favorite tree in my yard. It's a Liriodendron tulipifera, or a tulip tree, and is quite beautiful. Its leaves look like little birds and they dance in the breeze. I was hanging out with this tree, trying to deepen our relationship, because me and this tree have some history, but I'll save that for another post. Initially, when I put a leaf on my cheek, I got a strong vision of a geometric pattern... like through a kaleidoscope. Unfortunately, I didn't get far with this exploration because the kids were hungry and life in general got in the way. But I don't think it's a coincidence that I had the dream following this initial connection.

The dream (where I go with the flow, but am ultimately thwarted at getting to my destination... thus a block), the book (the Wood Element and the Gall Bladder and Liver meridians), and the tree (where maybe more happened than I had understood)... seem to create a triad of symbols that indicate to me that something important is happening... and after this SUPER long story, I was wondering if it was happening to anyone else?

Drawing parallels

I've read a couple of blogs lately where people were seeing commonalities between deities, finding themes in the energies that are choosing to work with them (because, after all, aren't we all chosen by our deities and not the other way around?). I've just realized that something like that is happening to me.

About a year ago: I was well into researching Goddesses, and Hestia found me, although our relationship is somewhat low key. We don't interact a lot, but I've definitely worked hard at making my hearth and home what I wanted it to be. I have an altar in my kitchen to Hestia, and I love her deeply, but I started researching other Goddesses to see if any would resonate. None did.

Maybe six months ago: I started researching Gods, because balance is good, and I wondered what the Gods might be like. Nothing that I read really called to me, until I had a visit from Ogmios. Who? That's what I said. Briefly, Ogmios is a Gallic deity that is often compared to Hercules and Heracles and maybe even The Dagda. He isn't referred to often in texts, and to the best of my knowledge there are no known images of him. The few references there are to him are on a couple of curse tablets and a confusing account by a 2nd century writer. A description of an image this author saw of Ogmios was of an old, short, man with a bow and a club, attached by a chain from his tongue to the ears of each man in a group of happy looking fellows (possibly a metaphor for eloquence on Ogmios' part). The few things that are guessed about Ogmios is that he's eloquent, wise, possibly a son of Brigit, possibly a teacher and guide, and according to Nostradamus Ogmios is the one who will lead the fight against the anti-Christ. Since I don't believe in the anti-Christ, I'll take that as some kind of metaphor... but I'm not sure I've ironed that out yet.




Fast forward: A few weeks ago I started receiving the Munay-Ki rites. This is a shamanic ritual consisting of nine rites that comes from medicine men and women from the Andes, and are derived from Inca traditions. These rites are thought to awaken the recipient to new levels of wisdom and self-knowledge.

A week ago: I had a dream that is very difficult to explain, because it was all about feeling and knowing, and very little about doing and seeing. Basically, I was sitting on the edge of All-That-Is with the Archangel Michael, and I think we were just shooting the breeze. Funny, because I sure don't know much about Archangels, but I'm certain that's who I was with. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything that was said in the dream.

A few nights ago: I saw Ogmios again... sort of in a half-dream state. I think he was in my room. I also think he has a shy streak... because he disappeared quickly when he realized that I saw him. He was old and stocky, and I didn't REALLY see him, I just knew he was there. And then I knew he was gone.

So, I started looking up stuff on the two of them. I knew a little about Ogmios, but nothing about Michael. It turns out that they're both reputed to be the one that leads the fight against the anti-Christ, they both serve as a psychopomp (shuttling the newly dead to the afterlife), both are known for wisdom and settling problems with words rather than the sword (ironic then, that they're also patrons of warriors), they both have 'sun things' going on around their heads (Ogmios has a 'sun-like countenance', whatever that means, and well, just look at the picture of Michael), and both seem to have something to do with me. Hmmm...

So, I'm just thinkin' out loud here... not really knowing where this is going... and not at all sure what to make of it. And wow, it turned into a REALLY long post! So thanks for hangin' in there!