Saturday, November 19, 2011

Following Hecate's lead...

I spent a whole lot of time after my surgery and around Samhain reading and thinking about dark goddesses.  I mentioned awhile back that I am feeling Hecate in my life... taking me to examine things that have been dormant for a long time... and are now just baggage that is holding me back.  This isn't an easy journey... but I've embraced it... how else can I move forward?  Besides, even though I have the option not to look, it really is feeling like there is no other good choice for me, other than to meet Hecate at the crossroads and see what she shows me.  Oddly... I live at a crossroads... at a "T"... such that there are three streets.  Interesting placement, eh?

My favorite interpretation of Hecate - by Thalia Took

So, as I've been investigating these feelings that are suppressed... I'm finding that I have a lot of unacknowledged anger in my world.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say that it's fury.  This awareness has sure brought cohesiveness to a lot of the symbolism that's come into my world lately.  I am being initiated into a shamanic healing awareness called Munay-Ki, and when you begin your process you get a stone... and I've always thought mine was ugly.  In the spring I mentioned that I thought my stone was ugly to a friend... who said she thought she knew what that meant.  I thought about it... and realized that I did too.  It was time to look at things I didn't really want to look at... the ugly stuff... which is what brought Hecate into my life... the one who would lead me to see the "ugliness" in myself.

Now... I'm realizing that what Hecate wants me to see first is anger.  I don't think I know too many people who were taught how to deal with anger.  Mostly, we're taught to suppress it... especially women... because we're supposed to be "nice", and it isn't comfortable for most people to deal with anger.  Usually, when a woman expresses anger she's shunned and referred to as a "bitch".  We're not encouraged to express our truths and wield our power.

So, I'm working on a ritual to address and transform anger.  I've got a few ideas... but I'm still working on the details... I'll post more about it when I've made some progress...

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