Monday, January 23, 2012

Playing the Fool

Ahhh... 'tis winter my friends... when the holidays are over and the true long nights are not filled with activity in preparation... but darkness and being.  For me, it's a time of going inside, of self-care, self-assessment, and really spending some time feeling the solidity of who I am.  When I remember to trust myself, trust what I know and who I am... then things come easier.  When I argue with it or think I should be different... that's when the trouble always starts.

So perfect, then, that the Fool keeps showing up in my life.  This particular tarot card has made itself known to me a few times lately... and today it seemed to fit perfectly.  Heading off in who knows what direction... the Fool is on his way and trusting that all will work itself out fine... even though the supplies he carries are few.  Just a few tools... what could be in his knapsack?  In mine would be trust in myself and the path I walk, love to sustain me, a sense of excitement to keep me moving forward, a sense of solidity in my soul that is mirrored in the physical by my bones, and joy in being wherever I am on the journey.

It's a good mental exercise... to really pare things down to the nitty gritty... what are the real essentials, and what can you provide for yourself along the way?  What do I need to carry in that knapsack?  The more you carry the harder the journey... and certainly if you're carrying burdens for others... the journey gets tiring really quickly.  If you FORGET that you're carrying things that don't belong to you then it starts to feel helpless... it's difficult going... AND you don't realize you can make it any better.

This is a season for me of really paring things down to what I need... and I mean... what I really NEED.  And it seems that some sort of cosmic force is really throwing things at me to make sure I know what goes in the knapsack, and what's not all that important.  We're going through a restructuring... one that doesn't bring up fear of survival... but definitely a reordering of priorities... deciding what's a must and what can be shed.  One that seeps into every part of my life... even makes me look back on my childhood and forces me to confront some of the issues I still hold... and it turns out that mostly, they're not even mine to carry.

I play the Fool in the best possible way... trusting my path, my self, and my knowing... all on the joyous way to my highest good!

Party on!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

Well, here we are... the much anticipated 2012...

Last year I chose a word to represent what I wanted to invite into my life in 2011.  I chose "proportion". I'd say, as I look back, that I did work toward that over the year... and that I had some moderate success (read: success and failure in proportion!  LOL!).  No... really... it was a year of personal growth and looking to my wholeness and the proportions of energy within.  For instance, I believe I have a better balance of masculine and feminine... that I've more fully integrated my spiritual and "mundane" lives... so... in 2011 many things did come into proportion for me.

This year... in 2012... I'd like to bring more JOY into this balance.

JOY (per Merriam Webster, I only used the noun definitions, not the verb) is:

1: the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune 

2: a state of happiness or felicity : bliss
3: a source or cause of delight

I've realized through the ritual that I did recently, that so little of my life has been lived from a place of joy.  My parents didn't have any, and didn't know how to teach me how to live my life that way... so it's up to me to call it in.  This year, I intend to do just that.

In some ways... bringing in joy will be much more powerful and all-encompassing of my life than trying to transform or release the anger and sadness.  I feel I need to put my attention on what I do want... rather than what I don't.  Which isn't to say that I'm going to ignore the times I'm angry... I'm not.  I fully believe that anger is useful... it tells you when someone crosses your boundaries.  But, I intend to live my life from the platform of joy... of the celebration of what is great about my life... rather than what I don't want, am missing, or otherwise lack.
May your troubles be less,
And your blessing be more.
And nothing but happiness,
Come through your door.
Happy New Year to all!