Cold and still...

I imagine it's colder where you live than where I live (coastal California)... but we've had unseasonably cold weather lately.  So, since it's been cold, and I've had a cold, I haven't been out to my "spot" lately to check on what nature has to tell me.  In an effort to muster the necessary willpower to get out there, I decided to buy myself a new notebook to record my "nature reflections".  I finally took it out there yesterday and sat.

I looked around for some time... and nothing caught my eye.  I saw some small birds (juncos for those of you who like birds) at the feeder... but really nothing else.  That's pretty unusual... so after awhile THAT became the thing I noticed.  Nothing was going on...

No leaves were sprouting... no flowers blooming (not a huge surprise... but I do live in California)... no clouds in the sky, no breeze moving things around...

Here there are often things growing in winter because it's our wet season... but what I noticed... was that my barren veggie garden didn't even have weeds in it.

Everything was deep in the stillness of winter... drawn inside... things held close... resting and waiting.  That made sense to me.  I had horrible congestion that I hadn't been able to kick... but I wasn't resting and taking care of myself.  I wasn't being still and resting.  Why not?

So... I wondered... what am I avoiding by not being still?  What would happen if I just rested... if I acknowledged that I was trying to avoid something?  I know now... the sadness I would feel over a lost relationship would surface.  I would have to face having lost a dear friend that I had hoped to know for a long time... to acknowledge that things had shifted and that we were drifting apart.

Sadness... that's what I would feel if I sat still too long.

Funny thing?  I sat down and felt the sadness... acknowledged it... nodded to it.  And the very next day (today)?  I was like 95% better... no congestion... no aches... feeling good... just a little tired.

I do believe in the connections between our emotional states and our health.  In fact, it's generally well documented... stress predisposes you to heart attacks and a bazillion other health problems, a lack of meaningful social connection is associated with depression... so I'm not shocked that I started feeling better as soon as I addressed how I was feeling.  And, I'll agree that it was day 5 of the cold... and a likely time for the old immune system to kick in and oust the invaders... so there's that too.  Just wonder how it chose today... hmmm...

Nature reflection...

...it is autumn... time to introspect... to bring light to the darkness of the unconscious... to mine for gold... to allows the fires to burn... to transmute what does not serve...

I know because the sunrise told me so...

Autumn... pulling in...

I went outside, as I have a practice lately of asking daily for nature to reflect back to me.  Today the fog sits low and cool... blanketing our little valley.  It's quiet... and introspective.  Seems fitting for autumn as the daylight wanes and we start to collect our sustenance to be stored over the winter.

It's funny... how perfect this is... I'm working on a self-care class with a colleague... so I've been spending lots of time thinking about what I do to feed myself... what I do to caring for my inner home... the place that sustains me and fills me up.  So, yes, I've been spending lots of time contemplating the "within" space.

From that place within... from home... I can see that I've been receiving gifts... and I can let the feelings of gratitude wash over me.  I've received a gift of insight... of inspiration... and from that space I am incubating an offering.  Home is full, even if I've been sick... and sitting and observing my within-space... I feel the abundance that has been created there.

Today... the wind...

One of my practices, of late, has been to ask nature to reflect for me where I am and what is going on that needs my attention, or compassion, or awareness.  I went outside, and here's what happened...

I noticed the wind... telling me that I'm in the middle of a lot of change (um... thanks?).  I noticed that the wind brings the clouds AND moves them away to let the sun shine through... that things continue to breathe and move and grow... even if the wind is blowing.  You can be blown around like a tumbleweed, or you can open your wings and soar.  The wind brings the cawing of the crow to my ears... reminding me to use my cleverness and my memory to know that I can ride the change on the wings of persistence... and from there I can see the horizon...

I choose to soar... gratitude to all of nature and her spirits...

Today I noticed...

...a spider... building her web between some of my redwood saplings...

I noticed how when her web moved in the breeze, she rode it out.  She has such a delicate, but strong grip... she rode the breeze as if it were nothing.  She continued to work, moving back and forth, building her home.  She didn't stop and grasp her web, hold on for dear life... she simply stayed her course and kept moving forward with her project.  That isn't to say that she ignored the breeze, blocked it out, she really seemed to be riding it... effortlessly.

I obviously can't say that was her experience, but I can say that I had a very strong perception of it.  That her tender connection with her web was something she trusted, found strength in, and could rely on.  She confidently kept building.