I've struggled for 40 years (well... for part of that) to find my own place in the world. I have been to more types of churches than most people could come up with names for (but apparently I didn't spend enough time in English class... yikes!). Anyway, all of this searching (and probably a good dose of introvert) eventually led me to being a solitary pagan.
My 7-year-old daughter has started asking me about church. Hmm. Clearly I can't dump on her all of my church baggage... so I opted to try to find something that I could swallow. Now, no offense to church-goers... everyone has a different sense of feeling comfortable... but I, personally, just am not sure what to do here. Obviously, 7yo is asking for some structured spirituality, but I've got none to offer. I can't even structure my own expressions of spirituality... which often seem to come and go with how much time I think I have. I have no dedication... at least not to ritual... and certainly not anything I'm prepared to share with anyone else.
We tried the local Unity church... which just feels like a couple of people gathering until they think the other 10 people are going to quit showing up... and they had no real children's group to speak of. I thought of trying the Calling-All-People-Spiritual-Center type facility... but I hear they're a small group too. I can't go back to Catholicism... I left for some damned good reasons that I'm not ever going to swallow to make a come-back. And I just don't know what to do. Honestly, I think I just have a problem with the "organized" part of organized religion. Which, if you look at my own practice, I seem to also have a problem with the "organized" part of un-organized solitary paganism. Sigh.
How do ya'll organize yourselves and keep yourselves on track? How do you let your family know that the Equinox (or whatever) is a special day in between carpools, homework, piano lessons and whatever else? How do you decide to follow through when your spirituality is roaming around a hundred different stories and deities and facets? How do you stick to something that becomes a ritual?
I teach my kids my values, and hope that it means something later... but right now... I just don't know how to teach my kids the nature of spirituality... especially since I'm still trying to put the pieces together myself.