Whew... I think we're finally settled into school a bit. It's taken quite awhile to work out all the mundane aspects of school... carpools, extra-curricular activities, play time, and down time for mama. Sheesh.
Anyway, in the down time that I've carved out for myself I've managed to drum up more stuff to do! I've worked on figuring out a good season wheel for my area, and I determined which holidays I felt connected with enough to keep up with. I think I actually have a do-able calendar for myself. I won't bore you with the details... but I am feeling good about being able to incorporate my pagan values into a cycle that makes sense for me and my family. That said, my first attempt was at the equinox... and though we made the bread and soup, said the appropriate harvest thanks... the social aspect of the meal was less than ideal. I need to figure out a good social context (even if it's just the immediate family) that fits with the tangible stuff. That shouldn't be hard... it'll just take time to sit down and do it.
I've also been pretty clearly hearing a call to Hecate. I know that she's considered a dark goddess... and there are warnings about not taking her lightly. I guess what I'm feeling a connection with is the earthy and humble part of her. She doesn't seem flashy to me (although I think that people have tried to portray her that way... a bit dark and devilish). She's all about being present as tough times unfold... she's about crossroads, changes in life, big events like birth and death... but she's understood to carry a torch in the darkness... to be wise in the face of the unknown... steady and earthy and present. I like that, although she did persist for some time in the Greek mythology... her roots go waaayyy back... and you can feel that about her. I've read some, but already I'm getting the feeling that it's a relationship we have to build, not one that you can read about and absorb somehow.
I've also been thinking about gods and goddesses and who they are to me. I know that some people have extremely close relationships with deities that almost seem like the god or goddess is another 'person'... some neighbor or teacher. I don't know that I have that. I've not had many dieties that I felt close to... Hestia, and maybe Ogmios, being the only others that I've felt any attraction to. I still don't see them as 'people'... but more as archetypes. An my relationship with them seems to be more with exploring that archetype in my own life. Is that something you can even call a relationship with a deity?
Anyway, with the kids in school I might not have a lot more answers. But I do have more time that I've used to contemplate my questions, and I do think it will get me somewhere eventually.