The quiet path... and hopscotch

Things have been quiet here lately... I know.  I am noticing that my path has moved at high speed though very quietly.  Like a spirit through the forest... or fairy flight... occasionally lingering... and then off again.

Through this season of quiet introspection I've done just that.  Many things have shifted for me as I've spent a lot of time just being aware of my feelings, who I am, what I stand for... and through SouLodge I've received many messages about standing tall in myself.  It seems it will be my action this year.  Standing like a tree after all this quiet movement... discovering the fruits of my inner labours... radiating my presence.  I've already noticed it happening.

It's so esoteric sounding... and yet it's very tangible.  I'm reacting to other people less... I was surprised by myself yesterday when my mom (accidentally... it's a long story) wasn't available for my daughter when she got home from school.  My daughter was scared when she thought no one was home... but luckily I had been working at home.  I was angry... but not reactive.  When my mom got angry back at me I saw it as a patterned response... a defense.  I calmly told her that I was allowed to be angry... my only request of her had been to be available when my daughter came home... and she wasn't.  I saw my childhood... patterns of behavior that I grew up with... I saw clearly why I always felt like the adult in my family... I saw how much I have grown to not throw my energy at her by yelling.  I stood up for my right to be upset... but I did it calmly.

It surprised even me.

I dearly love the person I am becoming... the wise woman that SouLodge reminded me I have inside of me.  I even love my crow's feet around my eyes and my graying hair... the wise woman coming out.

I know I'm talking as if I've arrived... in this moment it feels like it.  But the truth is that it's always a path... and it's a bit more like hopscotch than strolling gracefully down the path to enlightenment.  We go back and forth... skipping different squares... and eventually we become light.

Working...

Lately I've been trying to get my healing practice up and running.  I'm working with a partner, and we're ironing out our own style, a bit different than our mentor (we had the same training).  Just as my practitioner certification exam happened in early January, we had a colleague help us out with an extraordinary case... one in which we had really amazing results.  That has led to lots of local people hearing about us and what we do... and we've been very busy.  It's fantastic, and joyous, and wonderful... and exhausting! 

In my spare time (snort) I've been participating in a really great group of women at SouLodge.  Our first craft project was making a fabulous feather wand that I wanted to share with you...

It's made from some turkey feathers that I found a year or more ago near my mom's house.  I'd kept them for who-knows-what-reason... until the feather wand project came up!  It was extremely easy (mine is very simple... with no embellishments)... and very meaningful.  I meditated on what wild turkey means to me.  Wild turkey (to me... I didn't look up much about more typical understandings of the bird) embodies steadfastness, being dependable, of understated or unacknowledged value, loyal, social, compassionate, living with ease in groups, protective, intelligent, peaceful, grounded, and practical.  It seemed to fit me, and I REALLY like the wand.  I use it to feel mindful about shedding energy that isn't mine, and to consciously bring in the energy I want.

I'm not much for tools these days... I've done a lot more of my work in my spiritual body lately.  I've not been practicing so much with elaborate ritual set-ups and such.  I've done much more in the way of prayer and meditation and mindfulness.  It fits me to work this way... though it's hard when I lose my reference points to remember how far I've come.  Tools feeling old and comfortable sometimes are tangible reminders of how much work has been done... and while the inner workings are the ones that matter... they're hard to track down when you want some evidence!  :)

Not sure where I was going with that... rambling really... so I'll stop there.  How do you feel about your spiritual tools?  Are they old friends, or have you shed them focusing on inner work?