So, I've spent many hours over the last few days dealing with all that lavender I showed you last post. Seriously, my 4-year-old and I spent hours yesterday knocking the spent flowers off of the lavender "pods" and getting the pods off of the stem, removing extra leaves from the stalk, and putting the stalks aside to try out as incense.
We're half way done.
That made me think (as hours of meticulous labor tends to) about the purpose behind what I was doing. It turns out that I intend to use some of this for making Christmas/Yule gifts for some friends and family, but I had also intended some of this lavender to go into a decorative glass jar that would become part of my magical-stash-of-plant-material-for-spells-and-rituals.
And here is where all this dreaming fell apart. I'm just not feeling the assemble-a-bunch-of-stuff-that-some-book-deems-appropriate-for-this-intent kind of stuff. I'm also feeling like a bit of a bad pagan for that... I mean, isn't this what I'm supposed to do?
I've just started to realize that candle spells have not worked well for me, I just don't feel connected to it, despite how much I love candles. There has never been a correlation between how much effort I've put into setting up my rituals with what I've gotten out of it. In fact, it's entirely possible that the less I've put into setting up and getting ready, the more I've enjoyed what I've done and the more I've gotten from it. I like meditation rituals... especially spontaneous ones... and I always feel like I learn something about the earth or myself when I do them.
Some part of me really wants to collect stuff and use herbs in ritual... but now I'm not sure how that will look. I hope that at some point I will find that there are little simple preparations, not formal, that I will use for my meditations... but for now I'm honestly a little disappointed that I don't love all the "stuff" and "doing"... that I'm feeling simpler than that. Isn't that silly?