I need advice... really badly... good advice... got any? (Caveat: please don't tell me that crying is good for children and it makes us all strong... it's not my world view... so if you have other advice I'd really love to hear it. Thank you).
My four-year-old and I used to go to a co-op preschool, so I worked some days and not others. It was great for me (I learned a lot about what kind of parent I wanted to be) but it was torture for her because she could never understand the pattern of what days I was there, and what days I was dropping her off. So, this year we moved her to an extremely wonderful and nurturing preschool with only 12 kids (same number as the co-op)... in fact, the teacher is a former co-op mom (and she has help - 1 or 2 assistants depending on the day).
Problem: my daughter STILL doesn't want to go to school if I'm not coming. Well, that's really not a problem in my view, she's 4 after all, and it seems totally normal... but the problem is the way it's handled. I don't like leaving crying (sometimes sobbing) children with someone else. I don't like the whole scenario where I walk away from this child I've vowed to nurture while she's clearly in distress, while someone else restrains her from following and grabbing onto me.
Fundamentals: I realized last night, that the reason I find it hard to walk away, the reason I'm then miserable until I go pick up my child (thus negating all of the great "me" time I'm supposed to be getting while alone) is that this action goes against every single decision I've made in parenting... of nurturing, of figuring out what the need is and feeding it, of being gentle and supportive with my children.
Real problem: I'm not sure how to get my daughter a preschool experience that does not require a) me to stay and be present, or b) to leave her kicking and screaming.
Are those really my only options? Is there a way to set up the drop off so that this can go differently? Is there some explanation that I can give of why preschool is important? Is there some trick, technique, or set of words that can change this? Or is this doomed to go on until she decides that she's not important enough to be heard and just gives up the crying? Oh please don't tell me that's how this will go... I'm not sure I can handle it...