Happy new calendar year!

I saw this quote on another blog today... and I liked it...

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

~Albert Einstein

...I also liked the blog in case you wanted to check it out... life... as it happens

The author was talking about the new year... and it made me realize... that, like her, I don't really see this as special day. I don't make resolutions... I'm not into trying to use some random date to try to change my life. If I'm going to do something... I do it... if I'm not going to do it... then I don't. Whenever the motivation strikes I use it, and I'm also old enough and wise enough to know that, for me, if I'm not motivated on January 1st then no resolution is going to hold.

I remember, as a kid, always hoping that the new year really meant that things could change, or be different, but now I see that New Year's is just like a birthday. You're no different the day before than you are the day after. And yet, the day is treated like some magical day... and often, disappointment follows. I know... I'm a New Year's Grinch.

All that said, I actually do have a tradition. We go to the beach on New Year's Day. Usually it does not rain on New Year's here in coastal California... although this year there's an 80% chance of rain predicted... so we're headed out today.

Oh... and back to that blog... she came up with a word for 2011... and that sounded a bit more like my style too... so I'm going to copy the idea.

From 2011 I would like:

OK, like 45 minutes have passed since I typed the previous line... at first I thought I wanted all kinds of things that, with more thought, I rejected. I thought this was going to be easy... after all, how hard can it be to know what you want? Reflecting on that, I'd say that we don't often REALLY think about what we want... we assume it, or take some initial desire to mean that we want something... but we don't really think about what we want in our lives.

Anyway, I landed on "balance" in my own mind, but didn't like some of the dictionary definitions like "what is left over".

So, my word for 2011 is going to be:

PROPORTION

I know, it sounds weird, but here are the definitions... and this is absolutely what I'm looking for this year:

pro·por·tion n.

1. A part considered in relation to the whole.

2. A relationship between things or parts of things with respect to comparative magnitude, quantity, or degree: i.e. the proper proportion between male and female energy (this is my comparison... the dictionary had some banal thing like oil and vinegar in dressing).

3. A relationship between quantities such that if one varies then another varies in a manner dependent on the first: "We do not always find visible happiness in proportion to visible virtue" (Samuel Johnson).

4. Agreeable or harmonious relation of parts within a whole; balance or symmetry.

(I deleted the math defintions)

tr.v. pro·por·tioned, pro·por·tion·ing, pro·por·tions

1. To adjust so that proper relations between parts are attained. (Sounds FANTASTIC to me!)

2. To form the parts of with balance or symmetry.

So that's it... I want proportion. I think spiritually this is what we are referring to when we say we're looking for balance. Whatever you call it... this is my word for 2011...

What do you want?

haiku

rain falls steadily
outside my cold window pane
plink, plink, dribble, splash

My homemade holiday gifts!

For Christmas I made my each of my girls a mushroom... it's made out of the coil bowl from Wee Folk Art website with the COOLEST tutorials on making stuff! Anyway, they provide the how-to for the bowl, and I imagined a mushroom!


The cap comes off the mushroom to reveal a little gnome inside. By the time I was done the gnome had accumulated a few accessories... a few tiny hand painted mushrooms, a wooden tree, and some crystals. I wrapped it before I took pics of the whole ensemble!


Also, earlier this week a friend taught me how to wet felt... and I ran with it! I created a whole bunch of flowers, but I only had time to make a few into barrettes and headbands.

Anyway, here's my mad post as I try to get ready to get our celebrations going today! Hope you all have a wonderful holiday!

Solstice celebration...

I CANNOT believe it's been 10 days since I could last find a few minutes to post. Sick kids... need I say more???

Late at night during the week I managed a few cookies to hand out to friends... these are my favorite, I got the recipe from NotHannah at Divining Women. I added cinnamon to the chocolate dough, just because I never pass up an opportunity for cinnamon! I liked the taste (they're not too sweet, which is refreshing) and I love the swirl of light and dark!


My other tried-and-true favorite. I think I just like decorating them! This year I didn't have enough time to go all out... the kids and I are going to decorate some with friends tomorrow, and they'll be a lot more festive!

The other new thing I did this year was make something my friend is calling "hot chocolate pops". Her blog Kitchen Corners is worth a look if you like cooking. Anyway, these are neat, different, and EASY to make...


Just melt chocolate, decide on toppings, and pour into some kind of little pan (preferably silicone - it makes them easier to pop out). I used a "brownie bites" pan. So, our cookie plate to friends looked something like this:


So, even though we've been busy we sure have been feeling the festive and giving spirit of the holiday season. Hope you are all well also! Oh, and I'll be back to show you some of the toys I've been working on... but I have to do it when my 6-year-old is not looking over my shoulder! :)

Holiday gifts...

Wow, I was just checking in over at Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom... and she had some great ideas for gifts for people still on your lists... but I think these garden statues from PhenomeGNOME's Etsy shop are my favorites...

Great ideas for anyone who has a thing for the fey!

Nature's beauty

I was going through some old pictures for no apparent reason... and I found some really amazing pictures. I can't take credit for them... it's quite possible that my husband took them... but after raking leaves today and feeling the beauty of fall, I was especially touched by these photos, so I thought I'd share.

Link to a giveaway...

I just wanted to share a link to a giveaway with you. It's on one of my favorite blogs... A Bit of Gardening Spirit. Nellie is a talented carver of wood... and has made a few really beautiful things that she is giving away. The thing is... you can enter to win the goddess and other carvings... but if you've never been by her blog before it'll be a win no matter what!

Winter garden

Well, I finally got the first half of my winter garden into the ground. I started the seeds back in September... but as with every year I get busy, and I can't bear to tear up the tomatoes until they're really good and dead. So, every year my winter garden goes in late and doesn't tend to do much.

The one thing that's a bit different this year is that I'm communicating with the nature spirits about the garden. I intend fully, to have them plan what will be part of my summer garden, where it goes, and how I tend to it... but for the winter I already had seedlings going. So, I went out there and asked what soil supplements I needed (compost, egg shells, and humic, in case you're wondering)... and I showed them what seedlings I have. I asked for help in organizing it and this is what I got...


We have shelling peas around a trellis, lettuce (red) in the lower right corner of the pic, two broccoli plants, one in the front left and one in the far right, with a few cilantro plants near the lettuce. Oh... and I put in some carrot seeds in the square created by cilantro and lettuce. I have another bed this size, and it will get the potatoes, more carrots, and broccoli.

I like the little space... it felt good as I was doing it. I knew that I had put quite a few constraints on the garden by having some things already going... but I also offered up a bunch of flower seeds that I have... nasturtium, sweet pea, california poppy... but those were all rejected for this space in this moment. I plan to connect with the nature spirits at least once a week to see how things are going... but we'll see how that pans out... it looks like it's going to be a busy winter.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful for the bounty that the internet provides... as in... I am completely thankful to have found a wonderful, positive, accepting, thoughtful, thought-provoking pagan community that I would not otherwise have found. It has brought great things to my life in my personal growth and giving me a forum in which I can feel connected in ways that are not possible in my mundane life. And yet, the same people have brought magic to my mundane life too... and have supported me not only through my blog, but through their own, through the sharing of their thoughts and feelings. I am ever so grateful for you all!

Blessings this Thanksgiving!

Witch's night...

Oh... the beautiful evening... I am feeling much gratitude for Mother Earth tonight... as we enjoy the fire in the fireplace while the rain comes down outside, the lightning and thunder go on, and the sweet smells of wet earth waft in the door when we open it to listen to the rain. It is fire, air, water and earth... all at their very best! Thank you for the experience!

A few of my favorite things...

I've been meaning to write this post for a long time... just because I look at some of these things every day, and yet, I don't use them. I feel strong connections to all of them... but don't know how to include them in my ritual (not that I do much in the way of formal ritual) or in my practices at all. I'm finally posting this... I suppose... because I was reading yesterday's post from NotHannah and not only have we come across the same found wands... but neither of us seem to use them much (although she has me beat, hands down, on that one... sounds like she actually DOES use hers...).


Here's my wand... I found it on a hike one day... and a very lucky day it was!

This is a seed pod of some sort that I found hiking in Costa Rica. I don't imagine it could even hold water, but I've thought of sealing it somehow... and yet I feel like I shouldn't change anything about it.

A holey stone... these are actually pretty common along the coast just north of here. This may not be the most spectacular one... but it's small enough to wear... I just have to get the string for it.

Although I don't often connect with hearts as symbols, I love this rock. I hope that doesn't suggest that I have a heart of stone! Baahaahaa... OK, I know I just *think* I'm funny...


And then there are shells. I can't tell you how many katrillion shells I have... in fact, I've been thinking that my first giveaway may be something along the lines of culling my collection... certainly some of these shells belong to people who could use them. Anyway, I'm off-topic. The first one I see as the perfect symbol of the feminine. The spiral construction of the shell, the pure white, the association (for me) with the moon... it's a phenomenal representation for me of the Goddess.

Oh... that's really a terrible picture... it's hard to tell how wonderful this shell is. Anyway, my last favorite found object is actually a 'class' of shells... intact bivalves, otherwise known as the "clam types" where both halves are still together. To me these are a strong representation of balance... something that is my lifelong homework. I tend to immerse myself in new stuff... I'm easily swept up in things that excite me... and so, keeping balance in my life is something I have to keep in mind... so these beauties show up in many places in my house, and definitely on my altars.


Do you guys have a lot of found objects that are meaningful to you? Do you use them in your magical work, and if so, how? Just curious...

Yowie Kazowie!

It worked! So, a few days ago I had that talk with my fruit trees and their nature spirits about going dormant soon... and LOOK!!!!

This is the COOLEST thing! I wish I had taken pictures the day I talked to them... to show you how many green leaves they had... how many little blossoms indicating that they thought it might be spring.

Now, any nay-sayers might suggest that the cool weather finally hit and that's what made them change... but NO! Today was 81, and the whole weekend was like that! Truly, it couldn't have even been in the 50's last night... it was so warm... we stood outside and marveled at the stars and warm weather! It's been CRAZY!

Since I didn't take pictures the day that I talked to them, I can't show you the difference, but I can show you the tree I missed talking to that day... this is the same kind of tree as the second picture above... both pears.


Seriously, these trees are about 10 feet apart in the same area of my yard. No joke!

So, my next conversation was with this tree:


The bugs have been getting to it... not sure what kind of bug... I'm guessing some sort of leaf-sucking insect... mites? Anyway, we didn't spray it this year... usually we use some sort of soapy organic spray twice a year so that the tree can grow its leaves. This year we were just too busy. I went and asked the tree spirit and insect spirit if we could do something. We did... so I took the 'before' shot... and we'll give it awhile to see if it can sprout some healthy leaves. It said it could... so I'm going to give it a few weeks, as it's an evergreen. It should happen sooner than spring.

I can hardly believe it! :)

And speaking of setting intentions...

LOL... a friend just posted this New Reality Transmission link on Facebook... and I thought it was really neat. Thought I'd share it with you! It's all about intention... and how if we do something together we can be extra powerful. I believe that what you put your attention on will manifest... and this is a fantastic way to do something that doesn't cost you anything... toward positive change in the world!

Setting an intention

Awhile back I posted about a book I was reading called "Behaving as if the God in all life mattered" by Machaelle Small Wright. It is about a woman who conferred with nature about building her garden, and in the process she learned amazing things about the connection between nature and humans. It's an easy and fascinating read. This is a picture of the Perelandra garden I borrowed from their website:

Anyway, in that post I suggested that I was going to try this out. Now, I don't have a giant property like she did... and so I won't be making any big garden... in fact, I'm thinking I'm going to take this kinda slow. I have three 4x4 garden boxes that I am going to turn over to this co-creative process with the nature spirits (or devas - which are not exactly the same... but keep in mind that I'm starting at the beginning here). Here are two of my garden boxes... although this picture was taken while we were putting them in... right now they're full of half-dead tomato plants...

I think I'm going to use my blog as my garden journal... and hope that you all don't think I've seriously gone off the deep end. What makes me think these spirits will talk to me? Well, because we had a chat about this yesterday:

My apple trees are flowering at the same time that they're trying to go dormant. We've had a very warm autumn, and so the trees are understandably confused. Yesterday I went out and connected with the deva of apple trees (I actually did this for each of my different fruit trees... apple, pluot, and pear)... and we "talked" about different ways to predict the coming of winter. We settled on hours of light rather than temperature as a good way to do this in my yard... as temperature seems a little unreliable. I'll let you know how this turns out. These are young trees, I just planted them bare root 2 years ago... but I'm going to have to move them as we do work on our house starting in January. I need them to be dormant in the next 4-6 weeks so that I can have them dug up and moved with a minimum of disturbance. Like I said, I'll let you know how this pans out.

I will say that "talking" to the devas of the plants involves muscle testing. It's also something you could do with a pendulum, although I personally find them to be a bit slow and cumbersome. I prefer muscle testing... which I'm familiar with from my energy healing training. Anyway, if you're interested in muscle testing you can do it too... just google "how to muscle test" and you'll get several different ways to go about it. This gives me the ability to get yes/no answers (and intuit many things in between once you're connected) from the devas. It took a few months to really learn it well, but once it's a skill you have it's totally invaluable!

Anyway... look for more of these gardening posts through the winter as I spend time preparing the beds and making plans with the nature spirits in my yard!

Being thankful

This year, I got an idea from the Pagan Parenting Resource Blog about making a Tree of Thanks. Well, I finally got around to it a couple of weeks ago... and though I love the idea, it doesn't seem to be catching on with the young'ns. The first day I had it up they were into it... but not since. I keep writing on the leaves... trying to remain thankful for all that I have.


Lately I've become aware of all kinds of things that I have that I didn't realize. A friend suggested that positive thoughts should get equal air time with the negative ones. What he meant was that many of us spend years thinking about what we don't have, or what bad people we are for a multitude of different reasons... but that it was time for us to take back our sense of self and be kind to ourselves about all the good things... all the things we have, are capable of, do regularly... etc. He says that if you spend years thinking bad thoughts about yourself, then it's time to spend years, maybe decades... thinking good things. Count me in! Anyway, that explains why I've been the one putting the leaves on our Tree of Thanks. I know it looks sparse in the picture... I took this pic when we first put it up... and just now got it off the camera!

Anyway, I'm thankful for the wonderful people I've met through this blog. It's a fantastic community of support and genuine caring. Thank you for being out there... and for being the wonderful people that you are! Blessings!

Inspiration

I have tried to write a post for several days... and just haven't felt like I knew what to say. I'm sick of talking about being tired, and I'm still deep in my healing 'apprenticeship', and my kids have been the focus of my days. I'm really not getting much done outside of being a mom these days... I had a list of seven things I wanted to accomplish today and I did two of them: showering and making dinner. I shit you not. Is it more pathetic that I only finished two things on my list, or that my list includes things like 'showering' and 'make dinner', which really are pretty much givens, right?

So I went in search of inspiration. It seems that several bloggers out there are doing a '30 posts of Truth' started by A Karma Project. This sounds interesting... and I'm enjoying reading what others wrote (see Mother Moon, Faerie Sage Kitchen, The Dream Life). Maybe that's just a bit too much for me right now... having to wade through my past... I'm already doing that in my dreams, it turns out, and I'm not sure I'm ready to share.

I headed on over to Pagan Blog Prompts and yesterday was, apparently, a day to blog about peace... what it means, what it is, how we go about finding it... hmmm... maybe I can do this.

Peace, huh? It sounds simple... something we all want, right? But now that I think about it peace is really an individual state of mind. You can actually cultivate peace while everything around you is chaotic... right? Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing so that when my kids are fighting and yelling at each other and me, so I can keep my cool? Right. Yeah... that's not peace... that's some kind of crazy willpower that so often feels elusive... I think.

Really, I think peace means many things. In a social sense peace is full of respect, gratitude, community without divisiveness. Peace is working together because we're so much stronger when we do... instead of using power to try to force one's reality on everyone else. But I'm not sure that kind of thing is really attainable here... where we live in duality of right and wrong, good and bad, top and bottom. People have tried, and failed. So I spend more time focused on my inner peace, I suppose. And I let it flow from me as I can... to be a peaceful participant in my community and household, to the very best of my abilities.

Peace for me personally is often associated with quiet... there's just so much activity in my every day that I spend much time caught up in the flow of getting ready for school, meals, laundry, cleaning, running hither and yon... and I forget to be mindful. It's often when I stop that my mind finally begins to reflect, to be slow, to be present. I'm trying to spend more time in the peace of presence in the moment, but it's hard when I'm arguing with my 4-year-old about why she must sit in a carseat and that I need her to get buckled so that we can go pick up the other kids from school. But I digress... my 4-year-old may be my personal challenge to peace, but she's also one of my main motivations for working on it.

So, in short (ha ha) peace for me is often found in meditation, where I have some quiet, some real time to myself for reflection, focus, and the awareness of connection with the earth. The one activity I do that gets me there in an instant is gardening. As soon as my hands hit the soil my mind forgets all those 'things' that I waste so much energy turning over in my brain all day long. I am present in the moment, I am with the earth, I am of the Earth, and most of all I feel closest to my highest self. It's magical for me, and I wish I had more time for it.

What about you?

Addressing exhaustion...

Hello, my dear body. I feel that you are tired. I'm hearing from others that exhaustion is taking its toll. I feel the quiet in the earth as she starts to settle in after the harvest.


Know that even in the fatigue, you are physically strong. See your wholeness, your completeness, the totality of you. See that your body contains bone... which holds you up and supports you with no extra effort needed. Acknowledge the work that your bones do each and every day... without thought. Half of the support structure lies in the bones. But also know that half of your strength lies in the fluids in your body. Water is not compressible, it provides the sole support for many plants (known as turgor pressure, if I my memory of college botany serves). The strength of fluid lies not only in its resistance to being compressed, but also in its ability to flow. That ability to be strong AND flexible inherently lies in our bodies.

Our energetic strength lies in presence... in grounding. Bring an awareness to the fact that your body comes from the earth. The body is made of minerals and elements that are present in the Earth... and thus, your physical presence is very much connected to the Mother. You can draw on her strength any time you need it. Her energy brings you back to your body, which, at some level inherently resonates with her. Your presence, current in the here and now, in this moment, with focus and intent, energetically magnifies the strength of the physical body, and the physical strength reinforces the energetic.

In appreciation for the strength that my body has, and in gratitude for the awareness of my energetic strength, I find peace with many of the stresses in my life. Not all, of course, but now I can see the difference between the things that matter and the things that don't deserve the attention I'm giving them with my worry and anxiety. Blessings to the Mother and the Father, blessings to all.

Gnomes

I've been making gnomes lately... I guess you could say I'm using my fingers to process all the rambling I've done the last few weeks! :) Actually, it's been fun... and the first family of gnomes that I completed went to live at my daughter's preschool today... so I thought I'd share. I posted more pictures and more ideas about what I'm going to make on the Pagan Parenting Resource Blog... so go check it out if you're interested in making toys. There are links to the website where I got the patterns and ideas... it's SO much fun!

These could be made with the intention to be toys... or they could be for the season table. There are lots of seasonal ideas (including making flower fairies) at the website where I got the patterns for the ones I made.

Garden spirits

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, mostly about working with nature spirits. I read Behaving as if the God in All Life Mattered, which is an amazing book about a woman named Machaelle Small Wright, who transformed both her garden and her relationships with nature and herself through communication with the devas of her land. I love that she emphasizes that this energy and information is available to anyone who wants it... and that she was a student, learning from nature how they could work together to grow a spectacular garden (and so much more!). This book is probably almost 30 years old... but when I wanted to read about the Perelandra Garden I decided to start at the beginning. I also have her book, Co-Creative Science: A revolution in science providing real solutions for today's health and environment.

It's got me thinking that I might try an experiment this year... and follow in her footsteps. I think I'm going to turn my garden boxes over to the devas... let them guide me through the next gardening season. I don't really care what the outcome is, as much as I really want to develop better relationships with the energies that are present on my property.

My introduction to Perelandra was through a friend who loaned me her Perelandra Garden Workbook II, which had some energy balancing and stabilizing directions in it... very much like spellcasting! Anyway, my older daughter needed some support at school, and I had done everything I could think of for her personally. My friend suggested clearing the energies at the school. My 6-year-old and I sat down and went through the processes... balancing with vitamins (offering them to the devas of the space to distribute them through the space where needed - energetically, of course) and stabilizing with flower essences (I used the ones I made myself... not from Perelandra). Things shifted for the class... the next time I worked in the classroom I noticed a difference in the teacher... she even gave me a hug when I left! Before that she had seemed really stressed. My daughter also reported things being easier at school... and so I considered it a success.

I also went through the energy clearing process for my house, and despite much work I had done in the last four years to clear and clean our house of unwanted energy... this was the thing that made the house seem quieter. I had long suspected that energies were living here that did not belong, but could not get them out until finding Perelandra.

Disclaimer: I'm not saying this would work for everyone... or even suggesting that you should try it. If it's going to appeal to you you'll know... and you'll follow the links on your own. This was just the thing that worked for me... and I'm sharing that with you.

Healing ourselves

One of the things I've been spending a lot of time on lately is my energy balancing class and work. I've recently started an apprenticeship with one of my teachers. Basically, the apprenticeship means that I participate as a co-practitioner with my mentor when he has a client who is willing to share their presenting issues (what they came to heal or address with the energy work), with a student.

The kind of work we do blends the idea of chi/energy/mind with the physical body. The premise is that the perception we have of our experiences can have an effect on our physical lives. But we all know this anyway... overwhelming stress can lead to ulcers, feelings of disconnection from others can often lead to heart problems... these are things we all know... and it turns out that there are many healing modalities that address well-being with this understanding.

I'm starting to understand why this form of energy balancing is working so well for me... and it's because it is about wholeness... about seeing the entire body and the whole self. It's not about taking things away (e.g. take away the feelings, take away my coping mechanisms)... it's about adding to them. Adding feelings of strength, of self-awareness, integrity, connection, and wholeness with no judgment... these are the wonderful things about what I am learning. It also gives me a new perspective in my interactions with others... about the possibilities of where people are coming from, what need they are trying to fill with their actions or words... it's something that helps a lot when I'm dealing with my children.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this... I guess the rambling is just me starting to feel the integration of so many perspectives... so often in this society we seem to have "the right one" attitude... that there is a single blanket answer that fits us all for any question that we might ask. I love most about energy balancing that there are as many answers as there are people!

Autumn

So, here we are in October... I'm reeling from that realization a bit... I mean, I feel like school just started, and it's felt more like summer around here than it felt all summer... so I still have a wee bit of disorientation going on.

However, I did change over my season table at the equinox... (this isn't the best picture, sorry, it turns out the "table" is in a corner cabinet in our dining room, and it's not the brightest room in the house... so the pics of it are always terrible... and I didn't notice that her hand is starting to unravel until I looked at the picture... funny how sometimes we don't REALLY look at things... isn't it?)...


We're also harvesting the bounty from the yard... so in some ways I'm coming in line with the season a little better. These are some of our tomatoes... which are FINALLY ripening after the long cool summer...


Oh... and look at these little beauties... looks to me like fairies have been cavorting in my garden!

I hope things slow down enough that I'll be able to start showing you all the stuff I've been working on lately! I've been making toys, gifts, and generally working on the house... so Hestia has had me busy! :)

New moon... a day late

Well, I never ended up figuring out what to do with the kids for the new moon. I'm tired... and it's showing. Anyway, today we went to the beach, and for a few minutes I felt the new moon. The ocean, she reached out for me... she showed me much of her beauty, gave me some treasures, and reminded me that it's all going to be OK.

I found several clam shells that were still hooked together. When I find these I always think of balance... and they're rare... so I tend to get excited about it. Today I found four! As I picked up shells the ocean lapped at my feet, and I felt her saying "it's ok, come with me, I'll show you". So I did. I stood there with my shells in hand, and understood that healing comes from seeing the beauty that is around us... and certainly I only had to look in my hands to see the beauty of the day, or close my eyes and listen to the beautiful sounds of the ocean, or feel my feet being cleansed by the cool water. I felt the ocean letting me know that she was willing to take the things that ailed me, to tumble them and shift them and return them as polished gifts. And isn't that part of what the new moon is about? Digging deep for those things that feel like burdens... to turn that into something new... something better... something good? Isn't that healing? So I guess it turned out alright after all...

October new moon

So, did I scare you off with my last post? LOL! I know, it came out of left-field a bit, but that's what I get (and apparently what I give you) when I spend all day blog surfing! :)

Today is the new moon once again (is it me, or are they coming around more quickly each month?). I know I love the new moon time very much, that I look forward to this more than the full moon... which I'd adored and ogled faithfully for quite awhile. Not that I've given up the full moon, but I find myself more likely to do something to acknowledge the new moon. I guess I'm feeling the healing part of that new moon energy.

Anyway, today I'm home with my 4-year-old, and I'm trying to think of something to do with her for my new moon ritual this month. I'm certainly not taking a bath with her as my last new moon went! Honestly, I'm not sure what I'm doing at the new moon anymore. I loved the way the Meet At the Water started... a group came together who felt that healing the ocean from the nightmare that happened in the Gulf was important... and it still is. But I'm feeling that it's time to open up my own new moon rituals to a greater healing... and I guess that's what happened last month when I took a bath.

So, I'm struggling last minute with a 4-year-old in tow, to figure out what that expansion means... what the theme is... and how I will do it. I'll let you know when I figure it out... in the meantime I have to go play with above-mentioned child!

Drawing parallels

I've read a couple of blogs lately where people were seeing commonalities between deities, finding themes in the energies that are choosing to work with them (because, after all, aren't we all chosen by our deities and not the other way around?). I've just realized that something like that is happening to me.

About a year ago: I was well into researching Goddesses, and Hestia found me, although our relationship is somewhat low key. We don't interact a lot, but I've definitely worked hard at making my hearth and home what I wanted it to be. I have an altar in my kitchen to Hestia, and I love her deeply, but I started researching other Goddesses to see if any would resonate. None did.

Maybe six months ago: I started researching Gods, because balance is good, and I wondered what the Gods might be like. Nothing that I read really called to me, until I had a visit from Ogmios. Who? That's what I said. Briefly, Ogmios is a Gallic deity that is often compared to Hercules and Heracles and maybe even The Dagda. He isn't referred to often in texts, and to the best of my knowledge there are no known images of him. The few references there are to him are on a couple of curse tablets and a confusing account by a 2nd century writer. A description of an image this author saw of Ogmios was of an old, short, man with a bow and a club, attached by a chain from his tongue to the ears of each man in a group of happy looking fellows (possibly a metaphor for eloquence on Ogmios' part). The few things that are guessed about Ogmios is that he's eloquent, wise, possibly a son of Brigit, possibly a teacher and guide, and according to Nostradamus Ogmios is the one who will lead the fight against the anti-Christ. Since I don't believe in the anti-Christ, I'll take that as some kind of metaphor... but I'm not sure I've ironed that out yet.




Fast forward: A few weeks ago I started receiving the Munay-Ki rites. This is a shamanic ritual consisting of nine rites that comes from medicine men and women from the Andes, and are derived from Inca traditions. These rites are thought to awaken the recipient to new levels of wisdom and self-knowledge.

A week ago: I had a dream that is very difficult to explain, because it was all about feeling and knowing, and very little about doing and seeing. Basically, I was sitting on the edge of All-That-Is with the Archangel Michael, and I think we were just shooting the breeze. Funny, because I sure don't know much about Archangels, but I'm certain that's who I was with. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything that was said in the dream.

A few nights ago: I saw Ogmios again... sort of in a half-dream state. I think he was in my room. I also think he has a shy streak... because he disappeared quickly when he realized that I saw him. He was old and stocky, and I didn't REALLY see him, I just knew he was there. And then I knew he was gone.

So, I started looking up stuff on the two of them. I knew a little about Ogmios, but nothing about Michael. It turns out that they're both reputed to be the one that leads the fight against the anti-Christ, they both serve as a psychopomp (shuttling the newly dead to the afterlife), both are known for wisdom and settling problems with words rather than the sword (ironic then, that they're also patrons of warriors), they both have 'sun things' going on around their heads (Ogmios has a 'sun-like countenance', whatever that means, and well, just look at the picture of Michael), and both seem to have something to do with me. Hmmm...

So, I'm just thinkin' out loud here... not really knowing where this is going... and not at all sure what to make of it. And wow, it turned into a REALLY long post! So thanks for hangin' in there!

Feeling out of sorts...

Something is strange... and I'm not the only one feeling it. Something is off... not balanced... not quite "right". Do you feel it?

Nellie at A Bit of Gardening Spirit feels it...

Geez... even my apple tree feels it...

(Note: I'm in the northern hemisphere... the leaves on the tree are turning, and yet it's flowering... ???)

Is it because the moon and sun are joining forces during parts of the day? Leaving us with a time where neither is with us at night? Are the extremes with us right now... sometimes both luminaries work on us simultaneously, with their different energies... creating conflict? Or just disorientation? And sometimes we are left without their influence overhead at all?

Is this where my strange dreams are coming from? I know I'm not alone in the strange dreams of late, either.

Life has also been challenging lately... we've spent hours in our house lately trying to figure out how to get everyone's needs met. It's hard... identifying those needs and managing how to make sure everyone is supported, loved, nurtured, independent, and content.

Sigh

Parenting

I need advice... really badly... good advice... got any? (Caveat: please don't tell me that crying is good for children and it makes us all strong... it's not my world view... so if you have other advice I'd really love to hear it. Thank you).

My four-year-old and I used to go to a co-op preschool, so I worked some days and not others. It was great for me (I learned a lot about what kind of parent I wanted to be) but it was torture for her because she could never understand the pattern of what days I was there, and what days I was dropping her off. So, this year we moved her to an extremely wonderful and nurturing preschool with only 12 kids (same number as the co-op)... in fact, the teacher is a former co-op mom (and she has help - 1 or 2 assistants depending on the day).

Problem: my daughter STILL doesn't want to go to school if I'm not coming. Well, that's really not a problem in my view, she's 4 after all, and it seems totally normal... but the problem is the way it's handled. I don't like leaving crying (sometimes sobbing) children with someone else. I don't like the whole scenario where I walk away from this child I've vowed to nurture while she's clearly in distress, while someone else restrains her from following and grabbing onto me.

Fundamentals: I realized last night, that the reason I find it hard to walk away, the reason I'm then miserable until I go pick up my child (thus negating all of the great "me" time I'm supposed to be getting while alone) is that this action goes against every single decision I've made in parenting... of nurturing, of figuring out what the need is and feeding it, of being gentle and supportive with my children.

Real problem: I'm not sure how to get my daughter a preschool experience that does not require a) me to stay and be present, or b) to leave her kicking and screaming.

Are those really my only options? Is there a way to set up the drop off so that this can go differently? Is there some explanation that I can give of why preschool is important? Is there some trick, technique, or set of words that can change this? Or is this doomed to go on until she decides that she's not important enough to be heard and just gives up the crying? Oh please don't tell me that's how this will go... I'm not sure I can handle it...

What I did with some of the lavender...

So, I told you about all that lavender I got... and how long it took to deal with all of it! I did keep some of the stalks for burning as incense. I'm not sure that's my favorite smell... honestly it just smells like burning stick. Plus, I had a hard time keeping mine lit.

Most of my lavender is sitting in a big jar right now waiting for its final destination as a sachet or other version of a gift for someone. But, I think my favorite idea was one I thought up on my own (although I don't for a second suggest that someone didn't think of it before me). I mixed some lavender with baking soda (not sure how I picked up the baking POWDER for the pic... duh) to create my own vacuum room freshener! I hate those super perfume heavy ones you buy at the store... besides, most fragrances are toxic, but I'll save that soapbox...


Anyway, it inspired me to make other fragrances or mixtures... I think I'll be drying some orange peel and mixing with clove and baking soda for Yule! I've got other ideas too... oh so fun!